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|Saturday, May 13th, 2006|
I'M A COLLEGE GRADUATE!!! I'M A COLLEGE GRADUATE!!! And I ended up right next to 2 of my best friends for the ceremony...and not that I am proud of it but we were totally the loud obnoxious ones! And now I am moving all my crap in the rain...and it sucks...the only thing getting me through is the gift that my little bro gave me and the plans for drunkneness in a few hours!
|Wednesday, May 10th, 2006|
So....some know...some don't...this week has been one hell of a mess for me. But, i am still alive which is a plus! Although I am so busy I am averaging 2-3 hours of sleep a night which makes for a cranky me. But on the plus side...I graduate Saturday! I only have 2 treatments left! And this new guy has great smelling cologne! Down side...have second job that consumes too much time, offered a thrid today which I plan on taking...have to move by Saturday and can't get into the new place till Monday...have two more treatments, which they screwed up yesterday and I now have an infected IV port that has spread to the blood. Yeah all I have to say is that when you are treating someone with meds that kill their immune system try not give them infections! anyway...life is busy but not so awful! now back to packing...
|Saturday, April 22nd, 2006|
So i have tried really hard to just stay positive about everything going on in life cause as we all know...sometimes...life just sucks. And although there are many things that are going well in my life there are still some things that are just so freaking crappy I am starting to freak out a little about them. Typically I hate talking about some of these problems because of the whole feeling weak and volunerable crap. But lately...it has been getting so overwhelming I just dont know what to do. Yes this is an exciting part of my life and there are many things to still look forward to. And that is great, but why in the hell does every step of that process need to be filled with unnecessary road blocks. Yeah yeah...that which does not kill us makes us stronger...blah blah...it makes me bitter too! And I dont want to be bitter about life! And I won't get into all te specifics of it all cause well I dont want to type for that long and you aren't going to want to read it all anyway. But seriously...if something doesn't change soon I may develop a problem with this valium my neuro keeps giving me. grrrr Current Mood: cynical
|Saturday, March 25th, 2006|
|i know i am a slacker
So, for those of you who already knew...i had some MS treatments done this last week....so happy they are done with. Let me tell ya...5 hours a day in a hospital sharing a room with post operative patients is not fun! But I feel 80% better...haven't slept more than 2 hours a night since last week cause of all the meds, but I feel better!
I am leaving today for Myrtle Beach!!! A week in an ocean front suite with an all nude chippendales a mile away! I will be back late friday and I am so freaking excited to be going, minus the 18 hour drive...but with 4 of us...not a problem.
Anyway, just wanted to update...have a great week everyone! And Happy B-day B!
|Monday, February 20th, 2006|
|I'm so excited!!!
So I know it has been awhile since I have written anything here but I have been a very busy girl...and sick too. But I have so much to tell!
First with the bad...Ms has been relapsing again...did you know that it is terrifying being 24 and to not be able to walk...but it got my out of work! I can walk again and all is well, so yay!
Second, I bought a guitar yesterday and while telling a co-worker he said man I have one you could have you should have asked first. So, I will have two guitars now! A kelly green acoustic and a purple electric with amp! Now...to learn how to play.
Third, I have been trying to find my field placement so I get the hel out of Whitewater. Did you know that it is nearly impossible to find a paid internship in social work and with so much to pay in insurance I kinda have to worry about that. SO, I got this email from my aunt Kim about Americorp...now before I was diagnosed with MS I had applied for peace corp but was disqualified upon the news of MS. Americorp is like the cousin to peace corp. You stay in the states so there are not as many health restrictions!!! So, I went and talked to my field advisor to see if I could use Americorp as a placement...and he said YES!!! This is suck a huge freaking relief! So now I have to finish applying and if I get accepted he will work it out! So there is a possibilty that I will be moving to California or Nevada in April!! Yay for warm places! It would be a year placement and guess what benefits they have...ok I'll tell you. Relocation allowance, living allowance, housing, full medical coverage, exit stipened, up to $10,000 in financial aid reimbursement, and of course training. This would solve so many problems and the best part is that I would be considered a federal employee so when I left the corp if there are federal positions i want to apply for I will be automatically put at the top of the application list because i will already be considered a federal employee! I can't even explain how great this would be!
Fourth, if accpeted I get to stick it to work earlier! And let me tell you they totally have it coming right now!
Fifth, I'm going on spring break!!! Mrytle Beach, 5 nights in a 4 star resort right on the coast in a suite with a private balcony on the beach! And the best part...the whole week long trip will cost $300...that is EVERYTHING included! Oh and the really best thing...all nude Chipendales less than a mile from the hotel!
Life is good right now....
Current Mood: ecstatic
|Thursday, January 19th, 2006|
|One more thing
Had the most AMAZING dreams last night...not that, get your head out of the gutter...well, not completely...anyway, WOW they were great! And oddly enough even gave me some persepective on things! Current Mood: chipper
|this week so far...
This week has not been the best! Classes started, there were issues with that and rent and...all kinds of crap. It is amazing how complicated life can be when you don't even have a lot going on. There are so many little complexities that get thrown in all over and man can those just throw you through a loop. I mean one minutes you think you have everything under control and all figured out and the next....smack....right up side the head. And it gets really really frustrating after a while! It's amazing how much one's life can change in a matter of moments and how living those moments can be awesome or awful but when you reflect on them you realize you wouldn't change them for the world. I have to admit that I may not love the life I have had to this point but I have learned more than I thought I would by now and even the bad stuff I am grateful for. Now if I could just master the art of retaining and applying every lesson I have learned things would be great! That and not having stupid girl emotions...that would help too...but what can you do? Current Mood: awake
|Tuesday, January 17th, 2006|
|this was yesterdays...but my computer was stupid...
So I worked this morning until noon and it was really busy! But, the day flew past so that is always good! And i got a lot accomplished! After that I came home and cleaned and talked to a couple friends online. I have to admit that although I got good news today about school I was still just in a kind of crappy mood. Hence the need to clean...
I went and got my books for the semester with Ashley and John and I only have 2 books! I have always had 10-15 for a semester. It could have something to do with the fact that I am only taking 6 credits...but I have all the classes I need already except for my internship which is over the summer. So, I am looking forward to a much needed relaxed semester. I will probably end up going crazy from being so bored but oh well. Classes start tomorrow and I am actually looking forward to them but we will see after tomorrow.
After we got books Ashley and I went to dinner and then hung at my place, watched some gilmore girls and talked. It was a pretty good night. I am still kind of cranky though. But you know what clears up crankiness? Knowing that I get to buy a new computer tomorrow!!! I can't wait...I hate mine! And as I told my friend Ben today it is terminally ill and the services will be held on Saturday at noon if you care to attend.
So...tomorrow should be better! Current Mood: hungry
|Sunday, January 15th, 2006|
|What do you want to do with your life?
These are in no particular order...and I am proud to say that I have already accomplished a number of them...
1. Find True Love
2. Be secure with myself
4. Financially Secure/ Get out of debt
5. Go someplace you have never been before
6. Donate time or money to a charity
7. Work with animals through humane society
8. Do something that scares the heck out of me
9. Get married
10. Go to Japan
11. Swim with Dolphins
12. Have a living will set up
13. Learn to play the guitar
14. Learn to play the piano
15. Have a plan to retire by 60
16. Get into shape
17. Renew Faith in God
18. Apologize to parents for everything you did as a child
19. Start Kids college fund
20. Renew wedding vows
21. Visit a country that is not free like the US
22. Run a marathon
23. Volunteer time somewhere, example: food bank, feeding homeless etc
24. Live life like nobody's watching
25. Have no Regrets
26. Go to a Packer Game
27. Be absolutely positive that I raised my child right
28. Live a day with no money
29. Save someone’s life
30. Be passionate about my job
31. Be a good friend
32. Learn a second language
33. Own a home
34. Get an education
35. Take kids to Disney World
36. Travel the world
37. Love life and do whatever
38. Swim in 3 out of 4 oceans
39. Pay off college loans
40. Make amends / forgive myself
41. Visit all 50 states
42. Start an IRA / 401K
43. Make a positive change in someone’s life
44. Find soul mate
45. Have $1,000,000
46. Host a foreign exchange student
47. Learn to cook
48. Look Hot
49. Make a life plan that I'm passionate about
50. Become a foster parent
51. Get my pilots license
52. Get my motorcycle license
53. Train a seeing-eye dog
54. Make it into a history book
55. Work with kids who have terminal illnesses Current Mood: blah
|Sunday, January 8th, 2006|
|night of debotchory?
I took Sunday January 29th off...I don't care if you all have plans or "don't feel like it" we are getting silly drunk!!!! Mark your calendars!!! Or feel my rath....
|Wednesday, January 4th, 2006|
So i went to the neurologist today...my appointment was at 2:45, got to UW hospital about 2:15...got into the Dr's office about 3:15...saw the doctor about 4:15...that's right 2 hours before i even saw the freaking doctor. So then spent 45 min with Doc then blood work...out of hospital about 5:15. Had dinner with Ashley at Red Robin, was very good, now I am tired and exhausted so we skipped shopping and will go tomorrow. And I am very frustrated and rambly because of info gained at the doc which i don't really want to discuss at this point but i am sure i will soon. So i will watch a sappy make me cry movie and go to bed early....oh and to make it all even better...the nurse i had told me how her daughter was constipated and she had to help "it" out...yeah, you didn't need to hear it but neither did I so now we are even!
I haven't heard back from anyone on the movie tonight so I am saying poop on you...
It's ok though because we decided to cancel the movie and do dinner and shopping instead. Just wanted to let you all know to avoid confusion.
Well, off to the head doc to see if there is anything else wrong. Wish me luck!
|Monday, January 2nd, 2006|
So far 2006 hasn't started out so bad....it is amazing how much you can enjoy life when you get rid of all the unnecessary drama (otherwise known as compulsively lying ex-boyfriends). Honestly we haven't spoken in 5 days and they have been the best 5 days! Anyway...my friend Ashley and I are going to see Memoirs of a Geisha on Wednesday at 6:30pm, Eastgate, if any of you would care to join us let me know and we can meet up before hand.
Also (and there are no hard feelings here) since I didn't really get to get hammered on New Years which I was looking forward to I think we need to make up for that! Now the problem is that I work every freaking Sunday and some of you work Saturdays so our days are not very compatible. So the task is to find a weekend when most of you have free and I can use a vacation day. So, talk, figure somethings out, and let me know. Thanks!
I have some bills to pays so I must go...
And i still need new icons!
|Thursday, December 29th, 2005|
So Shannon and I just got up and have decided that we are going to be lazy today and just watch movies...sorry jason...but we would also like to get together tonight and play Harry Potter Scene It...shannon bought it yesterday. Let us know if you guys want to do something...
|Tuesday, December 13th, 2005|
|for the shortened version just read paragraph 3
So it's about 6am and i have been up for a little over 2 hours now studying.....I have a final today, one tomorrow, one friday, and 2 next wednesday. In one of my classes we still have 55% of our grade to be determined by the exam and a paper. This is for my research methods course and it is AWFUL! I hate the professor and everything about the class, so i am not looking forward to that one. Ok, so the only thing I like about the class is that he has a 21 point curve...that's right 21 points....you can tell we all do very well in the class and it is no fault of my incompetant professor of course. i had him or another course too and it was the same thing. he even told us that he wasn't giving us course evals because he was affraid of what he would say about him. Anyway....I am so completely overwhelmed with school right now i just want to crawl in bed for a week and a half...
I haven't finished deciding what i am going to do next semester yet. I found out that I can stay on my parents insurance even if I am not a full time student, I just have to not make more than $1000 a month. And since I can not do my field placement next semester now I am not sure what to do. I think I may take one of two classes and cut my hours at work. I am still having problems with meds and can't seem to have a complete day where i feel good and don't fall asleep at 7...so I think i may just take it easy next semester.
Other than school and work my life is about what it usually is...things are ok. I am trying to make plans for new years...i know wendy and drew will again be holding festivities at there home, but I was also invited to my best friends in the dells...where there is a hot tub and shooting range....no we will not play with guns while drinking, just before. My dilemma comes in beause i really want to be at both places. If I went to ashleys I would be the only non-coupled female, there would also be a non-coupled male and he is very nice to look at but then he starts talking and you just wish there was a mute button. And i know if i am drunk and the only one not kissing someone at midnight i am going to get upset about it because i am stupid and girlie like that. So, going to wendy and drew's may be a better choice if i want to keep any of my self-esteem and confidence...because i know if all else fails i can kiss jason! So, if any of you have convincing arguements to throw my way to help me decide I would appreciate it.
Ok, back to studying....
Current Mood: drained
|Friday, December 2nd, 2005|
|long couple of weeks...
So i know that everyone hates reading about complaining bullshit all the time, but I need to vent. First, i hate have MS, it is a bigger pain in the ass than it is painful, but seriously everyday is affected by it and I don't like that!!! So I relapsed and was having all kinds of symptoms again so I went to the neurologist and after much blood work found out that I was allergic to the injections they had me on. I know what you are thinking...it is not the docs fault because this med is made of all proteins that are already found in the human body...so it's really just my body that is retarded. So we take me off the injections, redo the blood work a couple days later and my white count is still not normal. Which means that there was bone marrow damage done from the prolonged exposure to this med i was allergic to. Went in again for another MRI, only one new lession, good because it could have been worse, but bad because there is one more lesion. So, my doc but me on a new injection, i take it every day now and it burns for about 30minutes after I take and is sore for a few days after that, so one part of my body always hurts. Not to mention I am still getting used to that med and it makes the injection site swell, the first time i did took it, it looked like there was a baseball growing out of my thigh...pleasant i know. They are getting better, not as big, but still hurt. I am also starting to freak out because my insurance runs out in April when I turn 25 and my meds cost about $6000 a month and my doc appointments are about $2500 a visit, if there is no blood work or other testing done. At this point, my insurance has saved me over $80,000 in medical costs and that has only been over the last 3 months.
I was supposed to do my internship next semester but my doc won't release me because I have been having many problems and it would require me to work 70+ hors a week and drive to Madison 4 days a week. He pretty much said NO WAY. So, now I am taking 4 easy A classes next semester and doing my placement over the summer which will be fine because my lease is up in May and then I can just move to Madison. But, it means that I have to pay out of pocket for my insurance that much longer. For me to keep the coverage i have now it will be about $500 a month. Yes, it is better than $6000-$7000, but still...ouch.
SO, I am pissed about being sick, I am pissed that I have yet another semester of classes, I hate being stuck in Whitewater, my job keeps getting worse and worse, my social life sucks, i don't have time to do anything I want to, I have all these little things that need to get done with grad school and disability insurance and all kinds of different funding/programs....ugh, I can't explain it all.
Overall message....today, I hate being me!
|Friday, November 18th, 2005|
So it is about 8am and I have been up for approximately 3 hours doing homework. Now, I have class at 9:55...do I take a nap or go to the library? Unfortunately I think the library is going to win out, but after class I am buying a space heater and finding my bed!
Yeah it is currently...62 degrees in my apartment. My landlord controlls the heat...but he also pays the elctric..hehehe. So, since he is being a heat nazi, I have been turning the oven to 500 degrees and leaving the door wide open. If you have ever seen my apartment it isn't bad, but it is drafty! For example, there is a door from the front proch that goes directly into my room (weird I know, but $1200 a semester with all utilities included I can't complain) and that door was not the original door, so there is about a quarter inch gap between the door and the frame on the side that latches. You can feel a breeze of air through it at all times and at the right angle you can see the street, but will they fix it...nope. Rat bastards. So in my caffeine induced hyperness I have invented a plan. I have these smallish hooks, like you would hang a plant on, and i am going to afix them to the top of the door frame where they will be invisible to the human eye (at least if you are under 7 feet tall, my landlord is short). I will then go to Wal-mart and buy...a blanket or heavy fabric, which ever is cheaper...and attach it to the hooks. Now this should prevent some of the air flow and still allow me to enter and exit that door. My other option was duct tape...it was discussed in my social work practice III course yesterday that all you really need in the world is duct tape and KY jelly...this was stated by my professor...anyway, duct would prevent the ease of use of the door and could posssibly make that little whistling noise if not applied correctly. So, fabric is option #1!
I don't remember what else I was going to ramble on about...could be the shakes I have from all the hot cocoa..oh so yummy...or maybe the schnaps I put in the cocoa...hehe...it was only a little...hehe...I promise...
OH, what is everyone doing tonight? I need out of Whitewater!!! And although I have a crap ton of homework and papers to write (15 pager due Wednesday, haven't even started) I still don't have to work tomorrow and I think we should be drunk! I am starting my early End o the Year resolution on Monday...Drinking only once every other week and not to stupidity...which means I need stupidity tonight! My friend Ashley, some of you know her, she was at the party last week, sat on the floor next to me...wants to come too! She is great fun! SO, let me know what everyone is doing!
So, I am alittle drunk now...and I have an exam in about an hour...good thing it is personal health and fitness... Current Mood: bouncy
|Wednesday, July 20th, 2005|
So....anyone feel like going to the bars tonight? I am meeting a friend at 5 for dinner and then Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but I feeling like drinking! And I don't have to work until Saturday! Let me know here or call. Thanks!
|Sunday, June 19th, 2005|
I'm alive....class, work, and summer camps....when i find the time I will let you know!